Nine Months Later
John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn. “Don’t worry,” John said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first…
Deer Camp
The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. He said, “Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.” The third night was…
After Surgery
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache.
A Man Walks Into A Bar
A man walks into a bar, orders a drink and proceeds to laugh out loud for about two minutes.
Santa In Train
Santa was traveling in a train. The ticket collector came and asked him to show his ticket. The T.C. asked again, “Suppose someone picks both your pockets, what happens?” Santa said with a smile, “I have a concessional monthly pass…
Running a Little Late
The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were present. One finally ran up, panting heavily. I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles,…
We Won The Case
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. He emphasizes, “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.” “Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!” “I’m sure we would have lost…
College Gradjyate
Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the…
City Council Job
A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” The interviewer grimaces and then says, “O.K… You’ve got enough points for me to take you…
Exam Anxiety
Melanie has her exams coming up and is petrified she won’t pass. He returns her gaze, “Anything?” “Anything.” His voice softens, “Anything?” “Anything,” she repeats again. His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you… study?”
Guess Who?
Rodney walks into a Florida post office one day to mail a registered letter. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.
The Vet Was Feeling ill
Sheryl, a veterinarian, was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.