Uncle George
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. “Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had…
Tie In The Desert
A guy was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Go over that way, they’ll give you all the water you want.” The guy thanked him and walked away towards…
Upcoming World’s Best Gunfighter
In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. “Will that make me a better gunfighter?” asked the young man. “Sure will,” replied the…
Skydiving
Manoj signed up to learn skydiving in Mysore at the base of the Chamundi Hills. Manoj thinks to himself, “It will be just my luck that the car won’t be there either.”
In a Southern Restaurant
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. After ordering their cornbread and grits, they talk about the latest addition to their junkyard business. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers…
Direct Call
The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. “Thank you very much. This is great! But listen, I want to pay for my phone charges.” The Pope, of course, refuses, but the Rabbi is…
The Three Huts Ordeal
An Irishman was captured by a remote African tribe. Impressed by his pleas for mercy, the chief (who had a remarkable grasp of English) offered him the opportunity to survive, if he undertook The Three Huts Ordeal. “I’ll do it,”…
Terrible Car Accident
Bailey was in a terrible car accident, which mangled his “manhood” and tore it from his body. “£4,500 for a small one, £7,500 for medium and £12,000 for large.” Bailey said, “Then I’ll have the large one, please.” But the…
Shoe Repair
A man and his wife were cleaning out their attic when the man found a shoe repair stub in the pocket of an old jacket.
Invisibility
A psychiatrist sat in his study, totally immersed in reading a novel. After a knock on the door, his secretary walked in and announced, Roses are the symbol of love, but apples…?” The lawyer answers, “Well, darling, an apple a day…
Stock market Explained
“Papa,” little Sammy asks his father. “What is the stock market?” “Oh, Sammy,” replies the father, “you are much too small to understand!” So, you end up having thousands of chickens. You see, this is the stock market. You understand, Sammy?” “Yes,…
Eye Problems
Dilip, an elderly village man, walks into the reception of an eye clinic in Delhi and asks for an emergency appointment. Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in…