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I got chatting to a girl in a club. “Can I buy you a drink ?” I asked. Can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend ?” I said, “My wife found out.”

A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, “May I help you sir?

Little Johnny went to the store with his grandmother.

Son: “Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don’t know what Politics is.” Son: “I’m not really sure, Dad. I’ll have to think about it.” That night awakened by his brother’s crying, the boy went…

An elderly woman went into the doctor`s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I`d like to have some birth-control pills.”

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing…

An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash and went to the Pearly Gates. They would have golfing privileges whenever they wanted, an angel as a caddy on command, and the course even changed daily…

Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. His son is also at the table, eating. Bill asks, “Son, what happened last night?” His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture,…

One day in class the teacher looks over to little Johnny and sees him scratching his downstairs under the table, The teacher looks over as he walks back in and sees it hanging out immediately shocked rushes over and says…

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are lying in their sleeping bags looking up at the midsummer sky. “But what does that MEAN?” Asks Sherlock. “Well, astrologers would tell us we are under the sign of Leo, and the planets Jupiter and…

Two old men are sitting on a bench at the park. A young, smoking hot girl runs past in a sports bra and a tiny pair of shorts. The old man turns to his friend and says “3 to zip…