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Two friends run into each other while walking their dogs. One suggests lunch. The other says, “They won’t let us in a restaurant with pets.” “A Chihuahua?” the man says. “Is that what they gave me?

A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, “No way, buddy, you’re too drunk.”

A lawyer died and was standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “You can’t come in here… you have to go to the other place”.

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin.

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where her mother’s superior was taking a shower.

One day Johnny’s mam asks the class, “Which part of the human body goes to heaven first?” Johnny says, “Our legs go to heaven first.” The teacher, not getting any clue says, “How comes it, Johnny?” Johnny says, “Yesterday night,…

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house.

One day, Little Johnny’s grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!” “Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me…

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the 6 O’clock news.