A blind man went to a restaurant
A blind man went to a restaurant. “Menu sir?” asked the owner. “I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it and order.” He then goes to the man and gives him the fork. The…
Two little boys
One day in the hospital, two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room. “A circumcision.” The first kid replies woefully. The second kid says “Wow! I had that done when I was…
An Old Geezer, Who Had Been A Retired Farmer
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. Dr. Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!” Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be…
Keyboard Shortcuts
A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the menus. Caller: “Yes, I sure do.” Agent: “OK, now press Control-A.” Caller: “I am, but nothing happens.”…
Job Interview
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade,…
Joe And Bob, Lived As Neighbours
Two old farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbors but didn’t like each other much. In 1999, there was a period of -30 degrees centigrade cold and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it. “Let’s change places…
Johnny Hears The Word Whorehouse
A little Johnny hears the word whorehouse in school and asks his father what it means. She’s a bit puzzled at first, but being a kind-hearted lady she gives him three doughnuts and tells him to leave. Later that night…
Vasectomy Procedure
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. “Well, every time I piss, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn, and every time I pass a…
The Teacher Asked Students
The teacher asked all the students to write an essay on the subject My Pet.
A newlywed first night together
On their first night together, a newlywed couple goes to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. At that, the man opens his robe and she exclaims, “Oh, OH, OH MY, let…
A pretty student nurse
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. ‘Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, ‘I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet. ‘He struggles…
Girl Taunts Old Man
A girl taunts an old man and asks if he ever did anything wild heading downtown to go to the movies when a young punk got on. Finally, the punk got self-conscious and barked at my dad, “What are you…