A Polish Man Had Married A Canadian Girl
A Polish man had married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada for a year or so and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on well. Lawyer; “Does either of you have a real…
Three girlfriends
There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it. She says, “I am investing the rest…
A man is lying on the beach
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.
Wife stayed home
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to…
The last hotel
Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken. The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “How did you sleep?” asked the manager. “Never better.”…
Some things you just can’t explain
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, Man: So then what happened? Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some…
Urgent need to use the bathroom
A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He carefully pressed the first button marked “WW” and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, “Wow, this…
A gorgeous 19 year old girl
A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar Suddenly a gorgeous 19 year old girl enters and sits down a few seats away. Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her…
A Midwest Farmer Was Describing His Lifestyle
A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. “One of the benefits of this profession,” he explained, “is that we have built-in weather predictions.”
A Crusty Old Man Walks Into A Bank
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, “I want to open a f*cking checking account.” There is no f*cking problem,” the man says. “I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery &…
An Old Man Calls Pizza Hut To Order A Pizza
An old man calls Pizza Hut to order a pizza… CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut? GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza. CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have. GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta,…
An Elderly Man Came Into A Shop
An elderly man came into a shop with a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in a window. He went up to the owner & said, “I-I-I w-w-wanna-t the j-joooob-b.” The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a dozen more Bibles…