Plaster Duck
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, “Hang on! You’re a duck.” The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more,…
George’s Father
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room with a huge grin on his face. George was broken-hearted but had to accept the bad news. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came…
Chinatown
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. “You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?” “Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many years ago when came to…
Ketchup Woes
Mom and her little daughter Maxine are in the kitchen, preparing lunch.
Faith Healer
Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders.
Beware Uf Dog!
A traveler approached a little village shop in county Clwyd, Wales. “Because,” the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
Religion Classes
Little Jenny isn’t a very good student. She gives an especially poor performance at religion classes. “And so Jenny, how do we call Our Savior, the Son of God?” Little Johnny stabs Little Jenny again with the needle. “Sweet Jesus!”…
Twenty Years On The Job
A horrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory in Mumbai. Once all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins. “20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I’d have thought…
Out Of Cough Syrup
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
Chinese Jews
Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco. “Sid,” asked Al, “Are there any Jews in China?” While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are…
Dumb And Dumber
Two professors were arguing over which one had the dumber child. Each professor thought he was the bigger idiot. The second professor, not to be outdone says, “Oh Yes! Watch this! Hey Sam! Come here! (Sam runs to his father)…
Just Out Of Jail
Small-time crook Bernie had been in prison for a few years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. Bernie answered, “Your mother wants to eat first! Where shall we go?”