Funny Jokes

Three ministers are talking about how they treat the collection plate take. The first minister says, “I draw a circle on the floor and then toss the money in the air. 

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. “All these unhappy babies.. and yet our baby is so happy. This just proves the Superiority of gay…

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you to…

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood. The husband says, “We’ve got to give it back.” She says, “Finders keepers,” and puts the money back in the bag and hides it…

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says “Doc, I’m getting married this week-end and my fiancée thinks I’m a v*rgin, is there anything you can do to help me?” The wife gets ready for bed in…

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, as the man is sucking down the drink he looks over and notices a dog licking his nuts.

On the first day of their Honeymoon, the very naive blonde virgin bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and,

Moishe the Carpenter, returning home with his week’s wages, was accosted by an armed robber on a deserted street. “Sorry,” interrupted the robber. “No more holes. I’m out of bullets.” “That’s all I wanted to know!” said Moishe. “Now hand…

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers… The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. “That’s incredible,” says the bartender. “I would never have believed it!” “Yeah,” said the guy, “I…

The wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you said hello to them.

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. Today is my first day driving a cab, I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound…