Jokes

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. I can’t believe it, says the first man.”I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink in Dublin. Of course,…

He glances into the vast fields and sees a farmer screwing a sheep. He is utterly disgusted. The boy says “Sure, one second. Hey, daaaaaahd!”

Elsa, a 97-year-old midwife, finally passed away after a long and happy life. When she arrived at the Pearly Gates, St She found herself standing in the home of a woman who was just having a baby. While giving birth,…

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates…

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mum comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge, a diarrhoea run. She can hardly make it to…

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. The old man looked him up and down and said, “Well, for one thing, you’re…

A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher’s counter.

A little girl who didn’t know what cursing or what sex was. The next morning was Thanksgiving, she walked past her father shaving in the bathroom. He cut him self and exclaimed: “Oh, shit!” The little girl asked what shit…

A Japanese ship was leaving the port and on its way to the open sea. The engineer said, “I was working in the engine room making sure everything was running smoothly.” The seaman said, “I was on the mast correcting…

While enjoying a drink at the bar a guy decided to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone. Naturally, the guy began to worry. “Is this your husband?” he inquired nervously. “No, silly,” she replied, snuggling up…

A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday at noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. A lot of people would not have the morals…

A man drove past a traffic camera and saw it flash. A week later, he received three tickets in the mail for not wearing his seatbelt!