A Guy Goes On To A Ship
A guy goes on to a ship to sail (and work) but he notices no women on board. So he runs to the captain and says to Guy: Capt Capt! I stuck my d*ck in the barrel and nothing happened!…
A Couple Is Eating At Hooters
A husband and wife are eating at Hooters for their 20th anniversary. The husband looked at the waitress pointed at his wife and said, “Ma’am I’d like to introduce you to my erectile dysfunction, my wife.”
A Monkey Is Sitting In A Tree
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey“Hey, what’re you doing?” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting up a tree with a…
You Stand In Front Of Two Doors
You stand in front of two doors. A guard stands next to each door. What one question would you ask to guarantee you enter the door to paradise?
Why He Cheated
A woman gets cheated on by her husband. Devastated, she doesn’t know how to continue to live her life. The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he asks, “Is the cookie…
When I Was 13 I Hoped That One Day
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some…
A Man Walks Into A Bar One Night
On a warm evening, a man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the cheerful-looking bartender and asks for his favorite premium beer. “But all that comes to real money.” “How much money?” inquires the guy. “Four…
A Newlywed Couple Moves
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” The…
Won’t You Kiss Me, Doctor?
“Won’t you kiss me, doctor,” asks a beautiful woman.
Wife Is Running In The Park
A wife is running in the park And takes a break to stretch near two men. The husband looks up and down for a second and says… “yeah if you were behind me!
A Young City Biker Walks Into A Seedy Tavern
A young city biker walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis, SD. Sturgis! He finally made it. After a few minutes of noticing the old biker still just sitting there, the newbie rider bravely asks the old biker. “If you…
Two Young Brothers
One day, two young brothers in Rome, aged 12 and 14, came home with a 20 and 50 euro note. “That’s truly awful behavior,” the mother replied. “You really should be ashamed of yourselves and feel sorry for the man….