Jokes

Well, for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he…

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn’t). so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was…

Steve got a job as a lumberjack. And on his first day his boss gave him a chainsaw. “here you go. now get to it.” “Hmm, maybe there’s something wrong with your chainsaw. Let me take a look at it.”…

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. She looks at him and says, “For crying out loud, don’t your ears ever get cold?”

Note: We love both dogs and cats, this is just in jest! 5. A dog knows when you’re sad. And he’ll try to comfort you. Cats don’t care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener…

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church,…

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

According to a 19th century legend, the Truth and the Lie meet one day. The Lie says to the Truth: “It’s a marvelous day today”! The furious Truth comes out of the well and runs everywhere to find the Lie…

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don’t like each other. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rides off.

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had Daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get…

Randy was in the hospital for a complete check-up. At 11:00 AM, they brought him soup for lunch. He refused it.

A woman wants to divorce her husband, so she is talking to her lawyer.