Jokes

When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

A man asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred. “what do you want to live to be a hundred for?

A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity:

Once there were three men, Charlie, Mason and Buck, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon.” St. Peter finally looked at…

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client. Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?” The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary.

A blonde is pregnant and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried.

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.” “Coming up.” Says the bartender. As she finishes that…

A man lies completely naked on the beach

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road.

Recruits got a shock when their Army basic training instructor turned out to be an attractive female sergeant.

An elderly couple in their 80’s were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they are going. The customs officer then asked where they were coming from. The wife says “What did he say”. The husband…