Jokes

Charlie has a racehorse that has never won a race.

In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you…

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers he has an important meeting scheduled. With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick….

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her son’s birthday. He said, “That’s a 6′ graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It’s a good all around rod and reel…

Two men are driving through London when they get pulled over by a cop. The officer does a check on the driver’s license, and he’s O.K.. He gives the man his license back, walks around to the passenger side and…

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. “What? You’re coming empty handed?”

A man walks into a doctor’s practice and sees that the waiting room is packed. “Great,” he says and leaves. “And where did he go?” “He drove to a skyscraper.” “Yes, and then?” “Then he went into the elevator.” “And then?”…

One day Jimmy got home early from school.

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it…

The new priest in the village, young Father Feever, is coming to visit the Side-bottom household. So Little Sally’s mother gives her daughter some instructions. “Sally-Jane,” replies Sally. “And how old are you, Sally-Jane?” asks the priest. “Seven years old,”…