Jokes

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy. The C.E.O says “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze” so he is…

After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian….

Mother Superior tells two nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their habits.

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit…

A grand New Year’s party was held at Alvin’s office.

A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.

His friends to him at coffee: “We adore your family life, you’ve got a great life with your wife and kids. I yelled at her: ‘Why did you do that, are you out of your mind?’ She turned her back…

Tony and Julie participated in a Marriage Encounter Weekend.

The husband comes home from work in the evening. He sits down in his favorite chair, turns on the TV, and says to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts.” Don’t you realize that I cook and…

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. The man agrees. “You are an accountant for the government,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man. “You are exactly right!…

A farmer inspects his watermelon patch. He discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.

A woman was reading the ads in the local newspaper. One caught her attention – it read: “Purebred Police Dog $25.”