Engine Trouble
An airliner en-route to Washington DC was having engine trouble.
The pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot called the crew and asked if everyone was buckled in and ready.
“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
Frozen Windows
A woman texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning:
“Windows frozen, won’t open.”
Husband texts back:
“Pour some hot water around the edges and then gently tap with a hammer.”
The wife texts back five minutes later:
“We now need a new computer.”
