The Lawyer’s Dog
A solicitor’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a beef joint. Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: £100 due for a consultation fee.
Dirty Laundry
A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder…
Little Johnny Walks In Grandfather
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny. “Johnny, may I have some of your cookies?” Asked the grandpa. “Does your d*ck touch your asshole, grandpa?” “Yep.” “Then go f*ck yourself, this…
A Cat Died
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, God met the mice at the Gates of Heaven, with the exact same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said,…
Billy Bob And Luther Were Talking
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation… only this year I’m gonna do it differently. “ “So, what you gonna do this year that’s…
2 Drunk Guys
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. I can’t believe it, says the first man.”I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink in Dublin. Of course,…
A Man Is Driving Down The Highway
He glances into the vast fields and sees a farmer screwing a sheep. He is utterly disgusted. The boy says “Sure, one second. Hey, daaaaaahd!”
97 Year Old Midwife
Elsa, a 97-year-old midwife, finally passed away after a long and happy life. When she arrived at the Pearly Gates, St She found herself standing in the home of a woman who was just having a baby. While giving birth,…
A Man Escapes From Prison
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates…
A Little Boy Blows Up A Balloon
A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mum comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge, a diarrhoea run. She can hardly make it to…
A Cowboy
In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. The old man looked him up and down and said, “Well, for one thing, you’re…
A Lady Goes Into The Butcher Shop
A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher’s counter.