funny jokes

A lawyer died and was standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “You can’t come in here… you have to go to the other place”.

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin.

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where her mother’s superior was taking a shower.

One day Johnny’s mam asks the class, “Which part of the human body goes to heaven first?” Johnny says, “Our legs go to heaven first.” The teacher, not getting any clue says, “How comes it, Johnny?” Johnny says, “Yesterday night,…

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house.

One day, Little Johnny’s grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!” “Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me…

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the 6 O’clock news.

A young man goes into the Job Centre in Sydney and sees an ad for a Gynaecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more. The man says “Oh is that where the job is?” The clerk says “No sir. That’s…

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she’s low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. “A little more to the left…a little more to the right”

Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route. When I told him that it was your last day at work, he told me ‘F**k him, give…