A funeral service is held for a woman
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
A woman walks into her
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” They both think for a minute and then the woman…
A prayer before sleeping
His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa” The father realized that his daughter could predict the family deaths and that this was no…
A gorilla in a tree
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree: “But what’s that shotgun for?” “If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla.” The man said. “Shoot the Chihuahua.”
A foursome of senior golfers
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.
An old man gets on a crowded bus
An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat.
A man orders one shot
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot.
Surgeon Explains
The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order”. One of them asked why. The fourth surgeon replied, “Because they are heartless, gutless, spineless, and their. and head are interchangeable.”
A blind man went to a restaurant
A blind man went to a restaurant. “Menu sir?” asked the owner. “I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it and order.” He then goes to the man and gives him the fork. The…
Two little boys
One day in the hospital, two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room. “A circumcision.” The first kid replies woefully. The second kid says “Wow! I had that done when I was…
An Old Geezer, Who Had Been A Retired Farmer
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. Dr. Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!” Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be…
Keyboard Shortcuts
A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the menus. Caller: “Yes, I sure do.” Agent: “OK, now press Control-A.” Caller: “I am, but nothing happens.”…