Dear Diary
Day 1 All packed for the cruise ship – all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband. Day 5…
The Blue Suit
A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband’s funeral. He says, “Actually, it didn’t cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a blue…
Out Fishing
It was a cold winter day when old man Bennett walked out onto the frozen lake. He cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. You’ve been here only a few…
Divorced Barbie
Ralph is driving home one evening, thinking of nothing in particular. Suddenly he realizes that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he hasn’t bought her a present. “That’s obvious,” the saleslady says. “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s…
New Admission To Heaven
After forty years of hard work, an old carpenter dies and goes to heaven. “Why are you all excited?” So Peter tells him the whole story: an old carpenter, who worked hard for forty years, and never did any harm…
The Royal Pain
A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in hospital. This started another round of complaining, but eventually, he rolled over and bared his rear end. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce,…
Professor, Janitor And CEO
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy. The C.E.O says “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze” so he is…
Too Large
After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian….
Blind Man
Mother Superior tells two nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their habits.
The Pope And The Beggars
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit…
New Year’s Party
A grand New Year’s party was held at Alvin’s office.
The Drunken Lady
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.