An Irishman was captured by a remote African tribe. Impressed by his pleas for mercy, the chief (who had a remarkable grasp of English) offered him the opportunity to survive, if he undertook The Three Huts Ordeal. “I’ll do it,”…
Bailey was in a terrible car accident, which mangled his “manhood” and tore it from his body. “£4,500 for a small one, £7,500 for medium and £12,000 for large.” Bailey said, “Then I’ll have the large one, please.” But the…
A man and his wife were cleaning out their attic when the man found a shoe repair stub in the pocket of an old jacket.
A psychiatrist sat in his study, totally immersed in reading a novel. After a knock on the door, his secretary walked in and announced, Roses are the symbol of love, but apples…?” The lawyer answers, “Well, darling, an apple a day…
“Papa,” little Sammy asks his father. “What is the stock market?” “Oh, Sammy,” replies the father, “you are much too small to understand!” So, you end up having thousands of chickens. You see, this is the stock market. You understand, Sammy?” “Yes,…
Dilip, an elderly village man, walks into the reception of an eye clinic in Delhi and asks for an emergency appointment. Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in…
Abhishek always looked on the bright side and would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. “That’s awful,” said Abhishek, “but it could have been worse.” “How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “could it have been worse?”…
Lone Viking walks into a Northumbrian village. Everybody scarpers, except one old man. Viking scratches his head, and says: “I wonder where the lads have gone…”
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”
Eighty-year-old Abhilash was having an annual physical at the local hospital. “Do you have a sex life?” “Yes, yes!” Abhilash exclaims. “Well,” said the doctor, “I’m afraid with this heart murmur, you’ll have to give up half your sex life.”…
A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulled up beside her. The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says, “Okay kid, my last offer!…
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night. “Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife…