Where Did I Come From?
Dad, where did I come from? asks this 10-years-old. “I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from.”
We Are In Big Trouble!
There were two brothers who were always up to some mischief. The boy did not answer. The priest asked again, in a louder voice: “Where is God?” The boy remained silent. But when the priest asked the same question a…
Two West Australian Rednecks Were Out Hunting
Two West Australian rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along when they came upon a huge hole in the ground. Give me a hand and we’ll throw it in and see.” So they picked up the gearbox,…
Two Guys Are Driving Along In A Car
Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard. The next morning they’re cruising along and the driver asks, “How was it?” The passenger answers, “It was great, but it took my…
Two Great White Sharks Swimming In The Ocean
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spotted survivors of a ship that had just sunk. “Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?” His wise old father replied,…
A New Primary Care Doctor
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing,…
An Old Woman Walks Into A Tattoo Shop
An old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says “I want to get a tattoo”. Old lady: “I already know what I want. I want a Christmas tree on my left thigh, and a…
A Woman On Meeting
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice.
A Young Honeymoon Couple
A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. “I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep…
Three Nuns Are Talking
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what I discovered.” and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
A Man Who Drank a Lot Was Told By His Wife
A man who drank a lot was told by his wife “If you ever come home drunk again, I’m going to leave you”. “No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket…