jokes

There was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.’ ‘No, don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there’s…

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. I and Tim a-huntin went, Met three whores in a pop up tent. They were three, and we were two, So I…

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests. “Well, I read the history book last night and I…

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake for fishing, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. Finally, the old man couldn’t take…

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building, When a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the…

Andy is put in a cell with a dirt floor and only one window.

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and…

A stranger drove his car into a ditch in a desolate area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. “Well… Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling,…

A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction said “Oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?”

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. Well, you don’t have to worry about…

Dan married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce.