jokes

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: “You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions”,…

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “what’s the matter?” A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before….

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

After 3 years, the wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.  After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became.  He just wouldn’t…

A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. “And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” asks…

A fellow had been suffering from a severe headache for several weeks and despite taking every sort of medication he could not get rid of it. The fellow then decided to buy himself a new pair of trousers. ‘Yes sir’…

Two law partners, Ed and Joe, are driving through the country one evening during a vacation when their car breaks down near a farmhouse.  The lady agrees, and the two men spend the night in her barn. Nine months later,…

One night the Stupid Man looked into his well and saw there the reflection of the full moon. Scarcely able to move, he looked up into the sky and saw the full moon above him. “I may have injured myself…

I got chatting to a girl in a club. “Can I buy you a drink ?” I asked. Can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend ?” I said, “My wife found out.”

The blonde reported for her university final examination which consists of yes/no type questions. “I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I’m just rechecking my answers.”

Two fishermen are out on the lake when one of them drops his wallet overboard.