A Woman Has To Go To Italy
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport. I did what I could. We’ll just have to wait 9 months to see if it’s a girl.
An Elderly Man Travelling By Plane
An elderly man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. He thought “Wow, these gals really have it nice.” So a little more boldly he pressed the WA…
Executive Life Experiences
An important executive was telling friends at his country club about some of his life experiences: “If it swims, flies, or fxcks, ….lease it, …don’t buy it.”
Fish Goes To The Doctor
Fish goes to the doctor. The doctor says, “Hello, sir. What brings you in today?” At that, the doctor smiles and slaps his knee. “Well that’s your problem!” he exclaims. “Let me write you a prescription for some Marlboros.” The…
Gourmet Reporter
A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest, in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe. “Ah,” replies the tribesman, “Well soon you will be editor-in-chief!”
The Big Barbeque And Butt
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day. He made some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this…
The Unused Brain
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter…
A Boy Comes Back From School
A boy comes back from school, disappointed because he got a 0 on a geography exam. She gets a map of the city and can’t find Portugal. “I swear Portugal can’t be far. The maid is from Portugal and she…
A Man Escapes A Prison
A man escapes a prison where he has been locked up for 15 years. He goes into a house and finds a young couple in bed. “He wasn’t kissing my neck he whispered in my ear that he was gay…
An Elderly Man In A Bar Had A Couple Of Beers
An elderly man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars. The barkeep replied, “If you say you paid, I’ll take your word for it.” Soon the customer went into the…
At The Deer Camp
Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. The other two said, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!” He said,…
Honey It’s Me
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk…. MAN: How much?” WOMAN: $60,000. MAN: “For that price, I…