An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash and went to the Pearly Gates. They would have golfing privileges whenever they wanted, an angel as a caddy on command, and the course even changed daily…
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. His son is also at the table, eating. Bill asks, “Son, what happened last night?” His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture,…
One day in class the teacher looks over to little Johnny and sees him scratching his downstairs under the table, The teacher looks over as he walks back in and sees it hanging out immediately shocked rushes over and says…
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are lying in their sleeping bags looking up at the midsummer sky. “But what does that MEAN?” Asks Sherlock. “Well, astrologers would tell us we are under the sign of Leo, and the planets Jupiter and…
Two old men are sitting on a bench at the park. A young, smoking hot girl runs past in a sports bra and a tiny pair of shorts. The old man turns to his friend and says “3 to zip…
At the end of humanity, there were three gentlemen left on the face of the Earth. “You will have 100 years of good health and no aging, to enjoy these places of chosen paradise. Step forward and state your desire….
Two women go out one night without their husbands. “I’m just going to use my underwear and throw it out.” Her friend, however, was wearing her favorite (and rather expensive knickers) and didn’t want to ruin them. So she elected…
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
A man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. ‘Very well,’ sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary’s. At mass the next morning, as the…
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants s*x, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates…
Two old women were talking and exchanging notes on their sexual activities. She was having an even tougher time with the second leg, so she rocked herself backward until she finally got it behind her head. However, she had rocked…